Top 10 Dating Tips for Women
It doesn’t matter if you are just now getting out there or are a seasoned pro, meeting a good man is a difficult task.
Even with the advent of sophisticated websites to help you find a mate, this list of the top ten dating tips for women is a must to help you navigate the choppy waters of the single life.
It is complex and, at times, infuriating, but there is nothing better than finding the right guy to share your life with.
Work on making these hints part of your repertoire and you will be well-positioned for more than just a good time – you might just find a great relationship.
Know What You Want
Though this may seem like the most obvious of these dating tips, it is also the one many women brush aside without a second thought. “Oh, I have my Prince Charming in mind,” they say, but few have <em>really</em> considered the characteristics of their dream guy – he is more of a general idea than a specific wish – and, thus, they end up going out with one pretender after another.
Yes, you must be tuned in to reality, but that doesn’t mean you have to drift aimlessly about. What do you hope to have in common with him? Start brainstorming there and see what you come up with, then pare the list down to “must-haves” and “nice-to-haves” to help you stay on track.
Keep an Eye Out for Players
Much like the first tip, this one should almost go without saying. If a guy isn’t all that serious about anything more than getting you out of your clothes, then he isn’t worth your time. Like a cheap perfume, he will be on you one moment and leave you wanting to take a shower afterwards. These dirtballs are, thankfully, easy to spot most of the time.
How do you figure out who the sneaky ones are? Well, pay attention to how deeply he gets involved with you conversation-wise. Does he ask questions to learn more about who you are or is he just a vacant stare waiting for you to finish talking so he can mention how good you look again?
Express Some Gratitude for His Courtesy
We hear it over and over again: “Chivalry is dead!” Is it true? Hardly. There are still many men who will open doors for you – as they should – and generally behave as upright gentlemen during the dating process. What you must do, in order to ensure it continues, is say thanks.
Yes, he ought to treat you like the prize you are at every turn, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be grateful when he does. Think about it: aren’t you more likely to do something you are praised for? (This is one of those dating tips for women that can carry on into a successful marriage, too.)
Insist on Paying for Yourself to See if He Allows It
Before getting into this tip, let’s be upfront: creating tests for your man to pass is a bit manipulative and women are notorious for it. If you were to ask most guys, it would rank pretty high up on the list of pet peeves, because it makes them feel like there are obstacles to winning your heart they don’t know about – something they (rightfully) say is unfair.
However, that does not mean you cannot set up a couple of basic tasks for him to complete in order to see his character. The first is whether he will pay for your first date or two. It’s old fashioned and you can most assuredly take care of yourself, being a gainfully-employed adult woman and all, yet it will give you a window into his heart. If things are going well, though, it must come closer to 50-50, otherwise he might be showing a tendency towards domination instead of cooperation.
One of the natural instincts men and women both have during dating is to put up defenses against getting too close too quickly. While you should guard your heart, particularly if you are fresh out of a relationship, it is incredibly difficult for two people to connect when one of you holds back all the time. Vulnerability is what fuels the kind of growth necessary to build a lasting love, there’s no avoiding it.
What should you get into while you’re dating? Talk about your beliefs and formative experiences, but avoid the nasty details of your bad break-ups until each of you are comfortable enough sharing your horror stories.
Give Him an Opportunity to Open Up
Women are, at their very core, communicators. They want to know the emotional details of nearly everything they encounter – a fact that has left many a confused man wondering why his to-the-point story seems insufficient. Guys are less inclined to share the feelings attached to what they discuss, yet many are willing to share their thoughts if they have the chance to – and you are willing to do some careful prompting.
Want to see what is on his mind? Ask questions to help him feel safe. “Why do you think your friend said that?” or “What made you believe working there was the right decision?” He might be defensive at first, yet helping him realize you just want to understand will soften him up.
Tell Him What You Think – To a Point
No man in his right mind wants a woman who is just going to fall over flat and let him walk all over her. Relationships are better when there is a healthy back-and-forth on different issues. Most women, when looking for dating tips, forget that it is no longer the 1950s and society expects them to have an opinion now. If you aren’t willing to describe your position on something – and stand firm, when appropriate – then you’ll be perceived as a shrinking violet. Who wants that?
Go Easy on Correcting Him
If you were to be granted access to your date’s mind, you would be surprised how sensitive he is to what you have to say. Even the slightest comment about him can create feelings of unworthiness or, worse, that you are attempting to change him. It might seem silly to you, but these are perceived as indications of disregard for his value and are very damaging to your potential relationship.
Much like a woman who feels a man doesn’t love her when he withholds affection, a lack of respect on your part will lead to resentment and, ultimately, separation. So, before you go telling him he’s wrong on the length of the Gettysburg Address, evaluate whether it is really that important.
Learn His Goals and Dreams
Ladies want a man who is driven to achieve in whatever his chosen field is. Something about knowing a guy is in pursuit of big ideas draws us in further, which is why it is a good thing to learn what he is aiming for while you are dating. Once again, as with expressing gratitude for the simple things, this is a tip that will help the two of you years into the future. If you are unable to get behind his vision for his life, then you aren’t fit to share it with him – and vice versa.
Lastly, avoid the temptation to sugarcoat your feelings. (There’s a difference between tact and hiding the message, of course.) Is dating going well? Tell him! If things could be better, then you must give him the chance to improve by describing the problems. A man that cares deeply about you will want to know what is bothering you.
Hoping he will read your mind is a recipe for failure and, if you aren’t careful, a sign you don’t trust him to do better. And, when that begins to arise, chances are you will be looking at this list of tips for women as you head out on a first date all over again.
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