Impressing a girl is one of the most daunting challenges a man faces – some would say it is the toughest thing he will ever have to do.
It already takes a lot of guts to make that first approach, but reserved men will find these top ten dating tips for shy guys to be a life saver.
By putting these pointers into practice as you step into the real world, you will have a leg up on those who make a flying leap and hope for the best.
Plus, when you get more adept at managing your quiet personality in the wild, you can become a resource for others who are looking to meet the woman of their dreams.
Figure Out What You Are Looking For
Have you ever gone to the grocery store without a list when you are hungry? What ends up in your cart? Anything and everything! Because you haven’t taken some time to think through your trip before going, you spend more and come home with less of what you really want. Dating is the same way: if you aren’t careful, you will buy a dinner that isn’t worth your time!
Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t go out on first dates unless you know the other person well – not all of them can be winners – but you must have a clear picture of the kind of woman you want to be with (her personality, not her looks) in order to make a love connection.
You Are Going to Make Mistakes
Most guys, shy or otherwise, spend way too much time wondering how to be perfect when approaching a woman. They rehearse the heart-melting line and practice the smoothest conversation starters possible, then fumble over the words when the time comes to deliver them. Is this normal? Yes. Is it necessary? No.
Here’s what to do: have a few topics in mind to discuss as you begin dating and let things happen naturally. There is no more effective way to meet a woman than to introduce yourself and ask for her name. You will get an answer every time, then mess up something else. Just go with it.
Muster All Your Courage
There is an old saying that tells us “The answer will always be ‘No’ unless you ask the question.” Sure, it doesn’t make you feel all that more daring, but the fact of the matter is you will have to take a deep breath and walk up to the girl you have your eye on in order for anything to happen. It would be nice if she would do the honors, but women like to be chased.
Will you get turned down sometimes? Absolutely. Does it mean you will be alone forever? Of course not. By the time you finally find the right one, approaching her will be a cinch.
Be Confident in Who You Are
This is one of those dating tips that should go without saying but, especially in light of the previous point about being brave, it has to be touched on. You are a prize. It might not always feel like it and, unfortunately, there are a lot more women that will treat you like you aren’t nowadays, but it is the truth.
What does that mean? Well, you have to accept the fact that you are worth it – the great job, amazing girl, everything – and let that belief take root. Once you become reasonably comfortable in your own skin, with all your quirks and insecurities, then you are far more prepared to be the kind of man you can (and the one she finds attractive).
A Gentleman Always Wins
The twists and turns of dating can chew shy guys up, but one of the best tips for how to behave is to simply be as chivalrous as possible – well, except for stretching your coat over a puddle so the girl doesn’t have to step in it. Open doors. Say “please” and “thank you.” Pay for dinner (the first two or three times). It is that easy.
For you, this may all be a natural extension of who you are, but it occurs less and less today than in the past. Why is it so important? Even if things don’t work out, she will always remember the quality of your character – sometimes the last impression is more important than the first.
Step Back and Recharge Your Batteries
There is not a person alive – male or female – that doesn’t find the quest to discover a life partner stressful. As a shy guy, even being out on a date can come close to inducing a heart attack! There is nothing wrong with that, yet you can make the whole experience much easier on yourself by taking a breather from time to time.
How? Head to the restroom and linger for a couple extra minutes. You will get a bit of privacy away from the hustle and bustle, which will be just enough to help you feel relaxed and rejuvenated. (Your date will notice, too.)
Don’t Be in a Hurry
In the early stages of a relationship, it is very easy to get caught up and speed off into the sunset propelled by the excitement. Are you ready for that? If you are like most shy people, probably not. That means you have to put on the brakes! (Otherwise, someone will get hurt.)
When the unsettling feeling arises that you are outside your comfort zone, tell your girl. She has to respect your emotions, even if she disagrees. Is she pressuring you to keep going? Find someone else, no matter how cute she is.
Get Comfortable Expressing Yourself (and Fast)
There are only a handful of people you will meet who enjoy conflict, yet it is one of the most necessary parts of a healthy relationship. In order to have it, though, you have to share your thoughts on everything. This doesn’t come naturally for most shy guys, but you have to trust the woman you are with to listen.
Of course, you must be tactful when you do speak up. Firing off what is on your mind with little regard for how it is said will result in the kind of fight that leaves you out in the dating pool once again.
Watch Out for Trouble
One of the most important dating tips for shy guys – or anyone, for that matter – is to keep any eye out for warning signs about the girl you are with. Does she tell you all the things she would like to change about you? She’s looking for someone to control, not a person to partner with. If she has little respect for who you are as a person, then you are better off moving on.
By the same token, you want to avoid anyone who needs you too much. Yes, she will miss you during the day, but when she wraps herself up in being your girlfriend, it is an equally bad sign. You are not responsible for “fixing” anyone, so move on quickly.
It Should Be Fun
Last, but certainly not least, you must find a way to enjoy dating. With all the nervousness and confusion, it is easy to get caught up in overanalyzing the details of your relationship. Stop! Let it all go! You have got to be able to have a good time while you are out – shy guy or not – or you will miss out on the best part of it all.
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