Me [33 M] with my girlfriend [35F], New relationship weirdness
I am a few months out of a marriage, my wife cheated and did other terrible things which are not relevant to this question. However, after my marriage it occurred to be just how much time I spent working, watching kids and trying to please my wayward wife. The things I enjoyed stopped a long time ago and my wife and family became my world and I became too codependent. I did not see the problem in the marriage, we had a good quality of life so the affair blindsided me and destroyed everything I knew.
Now, a few months on, which I admit is not a long time, I started dating a new girl. After a few dates it got to a point where I was staying at hers. That night she wanted sex but I wasn’t hard. She commented but never made a big deal of it. But then it happened next time too. She then made another comment. Ofcourse I was worried my marriage breakup had caused some kind of disfunction. So inside I was getting worried.
I then realised though, I spent time touching her etc but she never once touched my penis, not once. So I decided next time I was in that situation to say something and I did. She responded she doesn’t like touching them or even really like the look of them in general. But she said male and female parts arent very attractive.
Throughout my marriage and previous relationships I’ve always had good sex, especially at the start! The idea that even in the new relationship phase she isn’t interested in touching me is bit of a red flag.
I am an open guy, I talk about problems and try to communicate in a relationship. I don’t think she works that way. She seems to clam up and act strange/moody and seems uncomfortable when I talk about things.
So my question here, have I just been lucky to have energetic lovers who are interested in pleasing eachother during sex? I like this girl but I am starting to think we maybe just arent compatible. It would be unfair for me to expect her to change.
Also is it so weird to talk things through when an issue arises? I am a pretty confident guy but the marriage stuff followed by this new suituation is making me wonder WTF is going on. Surely if everyone around you is acting weird, you need to consider that the weird one might be yourself!
tl;dr: One of us is a bit weird, but I dont know which one!
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