My [22/m] bf and [22/f] I don’t know what to do about our future.

My [22/m] bf and [22/f] I don’t know what to do about our future.
Hi Reddit! So my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now. We’ve had a really strong relationship, communicate really well, and recently, within the last 3 weeks, have started expressing that we love each other. It’s a really happy relationship and he’s a really great guy and I really think I hit the jackpot with him. We come from different cultures. I was raised in a white/American/Protestant household with very view limitations and expectations put on me besides to do well in school, don’t get pregnant before you are married (HAPPILY FOR GOD SAKES), and basically just be a good person. He was raised in a fairly strict Arab-Muslim household in Africa, which is actually part of the reason I like him so much. Not because I have brown fever, but because I love how strongly he believes in family and commitment to your loved ones, something I think US culture (and by connection, US men) are severely lacking in. I also love how he sticks to his morals, and while some may say he «picks and chooses» which to follow, I think we are all allowed to make our own choices when it comes to the parts of religion and morals we want to follow, so long as we are not hypocritical or hurting anyone else. We have sex, he smokes weed, and we drink wine sometimes. This is the kinda stuff I mean I guess. If he told his parents they would completely freak out, but not disown him. It would just hurt them as they don’t understand the culture here and want their kids to be just like them. I mean who doesn’t want their kids to be just like them, honestly?

Anyways. So I graduated already, and I will meet his parents in the next 5 months at his graduation, possibly before then. I’m pretty excited about that, as he has never introduced a girl to his parents before, despite dating someone else for a few years earlier in college. I know, generally, what to expect. I know how to be respectful, I know what I can and cannot do and say. That’s all fine. I’m really excited to meet them, even if they may not be thrilled that their son is dating a white girl. Whatever. He and his brother have both made it clear to them that they will marry whoever they want within reason and that they should trust them to make the right decision for themselves.

So after he graduates, he will be moving out of the country, and I want to move to wherever he is.

This is where the problem starts.

He does not want to live with me before we are married, and I have a serious problem moving to a new country and uprooting my life and career (because I have already started my career here in a major metro area at a pretty huge firm) to move to him if we cannot live together. We have both lived alone our entire college careers. I know how to manage my household and so does he. We are both neat people and we have co-habitated in his summer apartment which was basically us in one room for 2 months. We both agreed it was great and we loved it. We have also done the 2 weeks at his/2 weeks at mine routine back when I lived at our university town. Like, I understand why he doesn’t want to live together, and it is because of his parents. I don’t want them to think less of him if we moved in together, and so I’m certainly not going to push it, but I don’t know what else to do in this situation? It’s taking a huge risk for me, moving so far, without any kind of serious commitment, and while a lease is not a super serious commitment, it at least shows that he is making some kind of commitment. I see no other way to go about feeling «comfortable» for me to move there except to ask to be engaged before? Like I know he isn’t going to leave me at the drop of a hat, but still, how do you manage this kind of risk with the lack of firm commitment?

tl;dr: BF and I have been together 10 months. Separated physically because I have a job, we will graduate next semester and will be moving out of the country. Wants me to join him but wants to live separately because of cultural/family reasons and I have a hard time uprooting my entire life in order to move to live alone in a new city. How do I feel the commitment I want short of getting engaged before we make the move?
My [22/m] bf and [22/f] I don’t know what to do about our future.

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