Realize that just because he doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you’re unlikable. You were your own unique and interesting person long before this guy’s opinion ever meant a thing to you; the more you remember and act on that, the stronger and more attractive you’ll feel. In fact, it may help to think back on all the other ways that this guy demonstrated his poor judgment. Are his friends idiotic? Were his exes a mess? Did he always wear socks with sandals? Maybe the signs were there all along…
If the guy is someone you see daily, be understanding and back off. Not only will you be doing yourself a favor by emotionally disengaging, but, since nothing is more unpleasant than unwelcome attention, you might be able to salvage your friendship with him as well. If you simply cannot function around him, find (inconspicuous) ways to avoid him until you feel more centered.
Be glad he didn’t lead you on. Some guys will pretend they like a girl because they don’t have the guts to tell them the truth. (Or, worse yet, because they have a few tricks up their sleeve.) You might feel heartbroken now, but at least be relieved that he didn’t actively deceive you.
Think about all the things you didn’t like about him. Maybe he chewed with his mouth open and never remembered your birthday. Maybe he constantly interrupted you and dreamed of being a taxidermist. Maybe you were in love with the fantasy of this guy and not the guy himself. Dredging all the ugly details will help you realize that, just maybe, he’s doing you a big favor. Try it.
Spend more time with your friends. Of course, you may need some alone time at first, but turning into a full-time hermit is just going to make you feel like he’s the only person in the world. Go out with your pals, have a girls’ night, and socialize as much as possible. The more you meet your emotional needs elsewhere, the less impact his absence will have on you.
Renew yourself. Find a new hobby, get a different haircut, get in shape,sign up for a dance class, cook a gourmet meal, or buy a few clothes. Turning your attention back inward is the best way to stop wasting it on a lost cause.
Move on! Once you take off your heartache blinders, you’ll realize that there are more guys out there than you can shake a stick at – and a few that you might not even want to. At this very moment, there’s a guy out there wishing he could meet someone like you. Don’t waste your time brooding over someone who doesn’t appreciate what’s in front of him.
Remember that there is always someone for you. The easiest way to forget one love is to find another. Yes, it can be that simple. Go on a few dates or start nursing a new crush. Put yourself out there and you might be surprised by what you find. If you feel ready, you may even be able to begin a new relationship.
Don’t become a rebound juggernaut. Never use or abuse anybody during this process – including yourself – or you will perpetuate the cycle of heartbreak.
If you have a tendency to bounce from one relationship to the next, stay single for a while! Devote some time to working on yourself and developing a sense of self-reliance. Not only will this be incredibly empowering, but it will also make you better equipped for future relationships. After all, how can you be with someone else if you don’t know how to be alone?
Stop thinking about him. The more you do, the more the old feelings keep coming back.
Seeing this as an opportunity to start a better relationship will make the experience less of a disaster and more of an adventure.
You will be tempted to go back to your wild goose chase at some point: don’t give in! Remember that there are over a billion guys out there, and many might be better than that guy. Remember that you deserve a guy who appreciates you for who you are.
It may take days, weeks, months, or even years for you to get over the guy. There is nothing wrong with you; you’re human and you fell for someone. It might feel like your “crush” is crushing you, but eventually something good will happen. Just wait.
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