Put yourself in the right place at the right time. But you don’t want to seem like a freak or a stalker. Get to know him a little bit, but don’t friend zone him; that would be bad. It’s best to ask someone out in person rather than by email, text or crumpled note. Otherwise, he may think it’s a joke or not take you seriously. Make sure you have an opportunity to walk into him in a casual, low-pressure setting. It might be in the hallway, at the water fountain, on a sports field after practice, or wherever else you usually see him.
Get him alone. You don’t have to be completely alone, but you’ll both probably be more comfortable if you can do the actual asking in a semi-private space. People don’t always respond honestly when their friends are hanging around and they feel pressured, so some privacy can help you get a real answer.
Don’t make a big deal about pouncing on the first available second of alone time. If you’re both together in a group, lower your voice to half volume and say, «Hey, could I talk to you alone for a second?» and walk a few paces away.
Don’t come off as stalker-ish. Yes, you want to ask him in-person, but no, you shouldn’t pull that off by hanging out on his front porch for hours until he gets home. Use your best judgment and pick a time and place that makes sense.
Get confident. This might be the most intimidating step for some people, but it’s important. Confidence when you ask him out will frame both you and the date in an attractive, appealing way. Don’t worry, though — there are easy ways to fake it. Here’s what to do:
Make extra effort. On the day when you’ll be asking him out, spend more time than usual on looking nice. Maybe that means wearing your most flattering outfit, styling your hair differently, or wearing slightly more makeup. Remember that the point isn’t to look like a completely different person, but for the mental boost of knowing you look your best.
Keep your body language under control. Resolve that, despite the butterflies in your stomach, you will stand up straight, keep eye contact, and smile for the whole time that you’re doing this. It will help you feel better, and it’ll show him that you’re fearless and self-assured — both are attractive traits.
Plan to ask him yourself, in person. Sorry, but you can’t really duck out of this one. Having your friend ask him, or asking in a passive way like a note or a text, probably won’t cut it. Remember: no risk, no reward.
Flirt a little. Send small signals that you’re interested so that he’s not completely surprised when you ask him out. It could be as simple as making eye contact and smiling, or a prolonged flirt session over text. Be careful with making eye contact. If he avoids your eyes, try again after a few minutes. Do not try to hold eye contact longer than 30 seconds. Or else it will seem awkward.
Don’t overdo it. However you flirt, try to make it a natural expression of how you feel about him, not a show of planned moves. Even involuntary actions like blushing or giggling nervously can be interpreted as flirtatious, so don’t worry if that’s what you find yourself doing instead of the smooth routine you had planned.
Have a date in mind. If it’s your first time asking this guy out (or asking anyone), you’ll be a lot more confident if you invite him to a specific activity. It spares you the stress of coming up with something to do while you’re on the actual date, and won’t leave you saying «Uhhhhh… I don’t know» when he asks what the plan is. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Ask him to a girls’ choice dance (if you’re in high school). Most schools have at least two of these each year: Sadie Hawkins in the fall, and another in the spring—usually Morp (like Prom, but casual) or Spring Fling, depending on your school). It’s the perfect excuse!
Set up a «girls’ choice» group date. Going out as a group can take a lot of the pressure off of you to show this guy a great time on your own. Plus, if you’ll have support on asking a guy out if your friends are going through the same thing, too. Plan something like a movie night, hiking, or sports that can pair into small teams (like volleyball, basketball, bowling or tennis).
Plan a classic date. Or, if you already know this guy pretty well and more alone time is the point, ask him to a traditional night out. Plan on dinner (at a restaurant, or at home with takeout or something you made) and an activity (such as seeing a movie, going to a concert or show, visiting a museum, or another interest you two have in common).
Spit it out! Think of it like ripping off a band-aid: it’s better if you just get it over with. Stay as calm and casual as you can, and ask in a simple sentence. Here are a few ways you could phrase it (filling in your own details, of course):
«Are you busy on Saturday night?»
«If you’re free, I’d really like to go out with you on Friday.»
«Hey, so, I was wondering if you’d want to see a movie with me this weekend?»
«I have two tickets to [event here], and there’s no one else I’d rather go with. Are you busy on Saturday?»
Accept the answer with grace. Try to be mentally prepared for his answer to go either way. If he’s interested, great! If not, resolve that it won’t ruin your day and you’ll move on.
If he says no: Take it with a smile. Say something like, «No worries, let me know if you change your mind. See you around,» and walk (don’t run) away calmly. Rejection hurts, but try not to harbor resentment or anger toward him. He may be cursing himself a few hours later but it’s how you respond that will determine whether or not he plucks up the courage to make it up to you.
If he says yes: Mission accomplished! Take a few minutes to go over details (like what time, where, who will pick up whom, and so on). Before you part ways, let him know you’re really excited about the date and looking forward to it.
Don’t always assume a guy will show his emotions toward you. They might be nervous and won’t know if she likes him back.
Smiling will be interpreted as confidence. Looking down and muttering will just make you seem uninterested or not very date-worthy.
Don’t assume that he’s not interested or that he’s less of a man just because he didn’t make the first move. A guy who doesn’t ask you out may still like you but be taken, too shy, on the rebound or any number of things.
Wait patiently for his response. If he says he needs time to think about it, let him. It is always good to let him think it over before having to make the decision because he might feel scared if he likes you back.
Make sure that you don’t misread the signals. Misreading signals can lead to a really awkward situation!
Always listen to what he saying.
Some guys may just be getting over a breakup, so be understanding that he may not be ready to go on a date or, conversely, he may just be looking for a rebound.
Pay for the date, unless he really insists. If he wants to pay for the date, then hey — no arguments there, right? It makes him look like a gentleman and may also indicate that he is serious about pursuing you, which is what you were hoping for in the first place! However, since you’ve asked him out, why not treat him for a change?
Before you ask a guy out, make sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
Make sure he is alone and not around friends. If you do he may be nervous, shy or feeling awkward and has a more likely chance of saying no.
If you do ask him over text and he doesn’t answer, don’t keep asking him. Let him think about it or he’ll think your desperate.
Just ask a friend and your crush to play truth or dare. Tell your friend to dare you to ask him out!
If he says no, don’t worry! There are many other guys.
If you asked him out already and he said no, ask him again in a week or so. This will show you aren’t giving up. Also, he may just not have been free that first time, so this will give him a second chance.
Don’t stop talking to him if you have known him for awhile and you can tell he likes you and he doesn’t ask you.
Ask the boy out what you and him are along together.Wear your best outfit.
Even if you have asked a guy out, it does not mean you are obligated to do anything you don’t want to on the date. If you ever feel uncomfortable, get out of the situation right away and don’t worry about politeness, just worry about your safety.
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