How Do You Know if a Man is Emotionally Available?
The point of dating is to sort through prospects to find a good match. Finding the qualities you want in a partner is very important, but how do you know if the men you meet are even ready for a relationship?
Pay attention to any of the four warning signals below that can let you know if a man isn’t really available. To avoid becoming the «transitional woman,» who helps a man through his divorce, be careful not to take on the a nurturing role that actually preps him for the next woman he meets!
Divorced Men Can Make Fabulous Partners
Don’t get me wrong — divorced men can make fabulous partners once they are ready, because they know about commitment and often prefer to be in a relationship. Just be smart when choosing who you want to date to make sure you have similar dating agendas.
Pay Attention to What He Does, Not What He Says
You’ll be watching a man’s behavior rather than listening for anything specific he might say. It’s true these points are generalizations about a guy’s readiness, but if several start to pop up you probably need to rethink the wisdom of being involved with him.
1) Talks About His Ex Frequently
If a man talks a lot about his ex, whether he was married to her or not, that’s a sure sign he’s still attached at some level and he’s not ready. It doesn’t matter if he remembers the good things or spends time complaining, he is still expending energy in her direction. His heart and head remain caught up with her and not clear, open, or ready for you.
2) Hasn’t Introduced You to His Friends
At some point, you’ll want to meet your companion’s friends. Why? Because his friends and how they interact speaks volumes about whom your man really is. What do they like to do? How do they treat each other or you? If you don’t meet them, you don’t have access to some very important data. Gently question your man to find out why you haven’t met his friends. You may discover his real motives or encourage him to move forward to the next level of your relationship.
3) Haven’t Met His Family or Children
You also want to meet his family, since observing these relationships can be very revealing as well. In addition, meeting the family is a «right of passage» in dating, and demonstrates his seriousness or intentions about you. Exclusion from family activities often means he’s not serious about making you part of his life. If months start slipping by without these introductions, investigate what he may be avoiding.
4) Social Life as a Couple is Just the Two of You
While it might sound romantic and cozy to spend all your time with each other, excluding your friends and family, never mind his, it might be worthwhile to check into the reasons for this choice.
Sometimes divorced men thrive on «poor me» sympathy extended by family and friends. If he tells people about your relationship, he could lose these benefits. He may claim it’s more romantic or that he wants you all to himself, but it might be his way of maintaining sympathy status, a control issue, or something else. Togetherness is wonderful, but be wary of too much of a good thing.
Plenty of Fish in the Sea
Right now in the US, there are 42 million adults over 40 who are single and nearly half are men! Since there are plenty of fish in the sea, why get attached to an unavailable man who can’t give you the love you deserve? Pay attention to these red flags when you encounter them if you are serious about your long-term happiness and having a healthy, balanced relationship.
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